My grandmother-in-law loves to say that my daughter has a dresser drawer just for hair bows. It’s not quite true but she does have a lot. What can I say?... she wears them well.
Just below her basket of hair bows are the books we read together. Okay, she’s 9 months old so she does more chewing of the books than reading but I still try to share a few stories each day.
One of those books is called “Ladies First: History’s Greatest Female Trailblazers, Winners and Mavericks.” Hair bows and heroes. I hope my daughter realizes those things can go together.
I set a ground rule on the day she was born. It may be silly but I try to enforce it.
Every time someone tells her she is cute or pretty I also tell her she is smart or kind or a leader or hard working or passionate or compassionate or brave … the words global ambassador have even come out of my mouth a time or two.
I realize when someone calls her cute or pretty they are being nice and mean it as a genuine compliment. It is a compliment. I’ve said the same thing to countless babies and kids.
I just want my daughter to know that those words don’t define who she is. It’s important to me because I want her to work on her math skills more than she works on her make-up.
Don’t get me wrong. I’m painfully aware how much our society focuses on what we look like and what we wear. I’m on television and I‘m judged on those things every day.
Maybe that’s why I’m so sensitive on this subject. I hope she sees that while mommy does take time in the morning to do her hair and make-up for work, she spends much more of her day researching topics, writing and reporting the news and then volunteering her time to help others or getting all sweaty while hiking, biking or running.
One day I’ll tell her how I was a volunteer fireman. Another day I’ll tell her about Pam Melroy, the former astronaut from Bishop Kearney who is just the second American woman to command a space shuttle.
There is an autographed picture of Melroy in my daughter’s room. Thanks Pam!
That brings me to Halloween of 2010. My daughter was an astronaut… complete with a hair bow.
I hope she understands this lesson because there will be bad hair days in her future, a poorly timed pimple or two and days she doesn’t feel beautiful on the outside.
If all she hears are remarks about being pretty or cute, is she learning that’s what we value the most? If so, how is she supposed to feel on the pimple/bad hair days?
I know soon she’ll probably be given gifts of dolls with unrealistic body measurements and play make-up.
I’ll try not to freak out. But will I allow her to play with these things? This recent article (http://today.msnbc.msn.com/id/41192486/ns/today-books/) let me know I’m not alone in pondering that question.
It’s such a delicate balance. I know one day she will literally outgrow the bands that hold her hair bows in place.
I hope she will be able to pull her hair back into a nice ponytail, bun or french braid so that she can see past her hair and focus on her dreams.
Jennifer Johnson
Anchor/Reporter
