The last thing my mother wanted to do was neglect her duties as a parent. She was attentive, hard-working, and loved her three boys dearly. And yet I wonder if she would be considered neglectful by today's standards.
See, we used to play all day, roaming far beyond the borders of our backyard. I grew up in a typical suburban neighborhood; tightly clustered houses bordered a forest that attracted our imaginations. During the summer we'd bang tennis balls off the roof of our house - that's how we determined a home run. When my mother grew tired of the sound of a ball smashing the siding, she'd tell us to do something else. We'd head down to the creek and search for crayfish, then head out to the woods to explore.
"Be home in time for dinner," Mom would tell us.
She loved us enough to set us free. We gained our independence as we invented games and searched for new adventures. It always seemed like we were worlds away from home, but in reality we were probably not too far. But no doubt we were out of Mom's sight, occasionally even crawling through the cornfield of the local farmer, who was rumored to keep a shotgun close by in case he saw a trespasser.
Keep in mind, there were no cell phones to keep us connected. Today, parents can text with their kids to get instant updates on whereabouts and activities. My mother did not have that option.
Don't get the wrong idea. My mother was no absentee parent. If we were late, we were in trouble. She wanted to know where we planned on going, and with whom. When we returned, she cheerfully but sternly wanted a full report on what we did. She wasn't afraid to ground us if we caused trouble.
But she trusted us to be responsible and she didn't flinch when we occasionally scraped a knee. That was part of life, part of finding ourselves.
In six weeks I'm due to become a dad for the first time. Parents tell me that things have changed, and you rarely see kids doing the Calvin-and-Hobbes thing, exploring and imagining and uncovering new ways to entertain themselves. With cell phone technology, you might expect parents to give their kids even more leeway, but the opposite seems to be happening. Some kids struggle to leave their parents long enough to get on a soccer field. Is it because we're in such a litigious society that every mishap becomes a lawsuit? Is it because we've convinced ourselves that becoming a great parent means being at the child's side at all times? Is it because the news media tends to over-report risks to children? (It's true; we're not always effective at contextualizing stories about abductions and the like.)
Or maybe it's not true. Maybe things haven't really changed, and kids really do have the chance to become independent and adventurous - within reason. Maybe I'm over-reacting.
But I don't think so. I wonder if I'll have the same confidence in my children as my mother had in me. I wonder if I'll ever say, "Just be home in time for dinner."
Evan Dawson/Anchor, Reporter
