(Marion, N.Y.) -- Two years ago Wednesday night, the Wayne County community of Marion awoke to learn an overnight fire killed a mom, a dad, and their two girls.
Just imagine for a moment if four of your loved ones suddenly died in the same way. Could you go on? How would you go on?
The answers to those questions are as simple and complex as this-- you just do.
A Family Lost in Flames
A candle on the porch sparked the blaze that ended four lives in a Marion home just after midnight on August 5, 2007.
Firefighters would find that 11-year-old Danielle Borate tried to escape through an upstairs window. Her mom, Kelly Trude, clutched a phone in her hand, after having dialed 911. David Trude, Kelly’s husband, was draped over the body of his 3-month-old baby daughter Kaitlyn, shielding her from smoke and flames.
A family was gone, just one day after David Trude's 26th birthday. Just one day before the couple's one-year wedding anniversary. But, there was a larger family left behind too.
"Why? Give me a reason," Gloria Trude says of that night.
As David Trude’s step-mom, grandmother to his children, the disbelief is still evident.
"This one you can't rationalize,” she said. “You can't even imagine losing four members of your family when you were just so excited to know that your grandchildren were just two miles down the road beside your son and daughter-in-law."
“You Just Go On”
Gloria and her husband David Trude, Sr. are learning each day what it means to "go on." To keep living, even in the face of an unspeakable tragedy.
To go on without their son who they affectionately called "Junior" and without his beautiful girls.
“Basically, you just have to look inside yourself and know that you're not going to do them any good if you don't go on," Gloria explained.
“You can't push it aside. You have to think about, and I talk to people about it, and a lot of people don't understand how you can talk about it as much,” her husband said. “But how can I not?"
In the days, months, and years that have passed the Trudes built a garden complete with a memento salvaged from the fire and trees and flowers for each of the loved ones they lost. They find comfort there.
"We feel like they're here, we feel that they're here because we did this for them," Gloria explains as she points to the meaning behind each item.
The Trudes' home is decorated with photos and poems. Each holiday and birthday memories rush back; each day those memories rush back.
"You have to keep in memory all the good things, all the funny things we used to do," David said.
But there's still pain, there’s even guilt.
"We've gone through and thought about if we had done something different because we feel guilty that we didn't go over there that night," Gloria said.
There's fear too.
"Petrified that this could happen again, you have no clue," she said. "You don't have a choice whether to go on or not go on."
Through all the memories and emotions, the guilt and the fear, the pain and the confusion there’s just one thought that comforts more than the rest.
"Just knowing that he (Junior) is at least with the family he loved," David said through choked back tears. “He didn't die alone. He's with them."
A Recipe For Recovery
There’s no simple recipe for overcoming the unthinkable; the Trude family will tell you that right away. But love of family and a love for the memories of those lost keeps them going.
The Trude Family is a large one. Danielle Borate was Kelly’s daughter from a previous relationship, and Danielle’s father, Steve Borate, and her step-mom, Shawnette Borate, have also come together and helped each other move on.
Like any of us, the Trude and Borate families never expected such a tragedy. But, they’ve learned such things can happen to anyone, and they’ve been willing to share their story in the hopes it will help others who experience tragedy find ways to go on.
Attached to this story are videos of 13WHAM reports following this 2007 fire. There is also a letter from Shawnette Borate about how she and her family have found ways to keep living each day.
